We’ve just begun to really dig into creative saboteur territory – the voices in our head that stop us from believing we are creative or that stop us from going as far as we could. So, now is also a good time to re-visit the external saboteur voices in our lives – the voices of friends, family, bosses, colleagues, partners and even of random strangers.
The voices of the naysayers.
It might not even be a direct statement that causes us to call our naturally creative selves into question. It might be a look. Or a pause that lasts a little too long. Anything that indicates doubt in our ideas, our creations and ourselves.
Whatever the naysayer uses to imply that we are anything but 100% capable of succeeding or that our creativity is anything but miraculous, has the power to hurt us and hurt us bad. Because when our own internal saboteurs sense they’ve got the support of comrades from the outside, the “NO! CAN’T! SHOULD!” party in our heads tends to run amok darn fast.
I’m lucky. And I know a lot of you are, too. My life has been blessed with people who believe I’m super. I’ve got the best champions anyone could ask for – and I question, how did that happen?
Am I really lucky, or did I make a choice?
Do my cheerleaders talk and talk, louder and louder until I hear them? Or do I choose to hear them loud and clear right away?
Do I accept their words, gestures or actions only superficially? Or do I accept them deeply, without question, letting the kudos really land?
The first time I witnessed a person basking in another’s statement of their incredible ness, I was floored. It was one of the most important and game-changing experiences of my life. There was no blow off. In fact, the person directly asked for moment to let the acknowledge sink in.
I thought, well, we need much, much more of this.
Finding the YES in someone else. Looking for what is right instead of what is wrong. These are not Pollyannish perspectives. We are not lying to each other. We are simply choosing to see what’s important: The underlying truth of each other’s boldness, creativity, strength and passion.
If we see that truth first, if we find the yes, we become the kind of champion for others that we desperately need for ourselves – and, along the way, we learn how to manage, walk away from or straight up get rid of the naysayers in our own lives.
To put it bluntly, either we believe in the possibility of each other or we don’t.
If we do, then we have to see the yes of them. We have to trust THEM. We have to stop worrying that they’ll look stupid or silly if they pursue their crazy idea. We all need to back up our calls to “BE BOLD, TAKE A RISK!” with a way of being that champions and supports the risk-taking of others – for real.
Person A has to choose to see the YES of Person B, AND Person B has to choose to believe them.
The next time Person A sees the YES in you. Take a deep breath and allow it to be true. Eventually, the naysayers will be harder and harder to hear, drowned out by an internal cheerleader – your highest self – who knows what greatest you are capable of.
To the power of finding YES,